Ezigbo Nwata Nwanyi: Car Matters

The dictionary defines Naivety as a “lack of experience, wisdom, or judgement” it also defines it as “innocence, unsophistication”.
I was more the latter.

Though I am willing to concede that there was beauty in that kind of naivety; a certain blissful ignorance that made some aspects of life easier, I know that it has made me look silly more times than I can count.

It made me look silly that day in college when I let slip, in a room filled with other women, that I thought women peed out of the same place babies came from.

It made me look silly when I found out that an unlabelled DVD being passed around secretly in class was not a Bruce Lee film as I had been told. The friend who was kind enough to be honest with me could not resist adding “I can’t believe you fell for that”.

However, I don’t think I have ever felt sillier than I did after I realised that I had spent days arguing over something that was obvious to everyone else but me.

I believed, with every fibre of my being, that R.Kelly’s “Ignition Remix” was about a car.

Yes, you read that right, a car.
I argued endlessly with my good friend, Terdoo, over this matter and every single time it came up, his face was a picture of absolute amusement.
I knew R. Kelly was trying to woo a girl, I was not stupid; but when he said he wanted to stick his key in the ignition, he was talking about his car. I was sure of it.

My argument was he was trying to convince the girl to get into his car and once he did, he turned on the car by putting the key in the ignition.
I even agreed he was interested in copulation because he mentioned trying to get her to a hotel in his car!

Terdoo tried to tell me over and over again that that part of the song was not about a car, though a car was mentioned.
I was adamant. Very much so. I was so sure I was right that I took my argument to someone else.

First it was Ajoke, who burst out laughing and after a few seconds, looked up from her laughter and went “oh, you are serious?”
I stated my case and she went “you must be kidding me. That song is NOT about a car! Are we even talking about the same song?”
I, again, talked about how I knew he was trying to get laid but was mostly singing about his car and she threw her hands up in surrender and said “I give up.”

Relentless, I took the argument to another person who also thought I was surely kidding, then proceeded to advise me to look up the lyrics in its entirety.
I did not think it was necessary, but I did anyway. It had been some time since I heard the song, and the last time I heard it, my focus was on the beat and not the lyrics but it didn’t matter. From that which I remembered, it was about a car.

Apparently, I was wrong. Dead wrong.

I closed the link to the lyrics website, paid Terdoo a visit, and willingly admitted I was wrong.
I would like to say I felt humiliated, but humiliation would have been a better description for what I would have felt if I had made this an open argument in a public gathering of friends.

“Silly” is the word. I felt absolutely Silly.


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